By Sue Clarke, one of our Soul Friends


This is not an article about weddings but the title just seemed to say something about my experience of beginning and being part of a Christian Meditation Group.
 
The ‘old’ is a tradition that Jesus himself was familiar with, used and encouraged others to use. It has been embraced by mystics, desert fathers and mothers, hermits, monks, nuns and yes, even ordinary lay people who through the ages have longed to be with God. In our own time people like Richard Rohr, Thomas Merton, Tom Keeting, John Main and Lawrence Freeman have reinvigorated this ancient practice.  We know it as Christian Meditation, a form of Contemplative Prayer which brings people into the presence of the loving creator God who longs to just be with us.
 
The ‘new’ is a personal story which introduced a group of people to a new way of being open to God. This chapter of a longer story started with Penny who had been ill for some time and had finally received the diagnosis of a condition which was potentially terminal. There was no cure; the only hope was an organ transplant.
 
On hearing the news I visited Penny not knowing what to say but hopefully being prepared to listen. During that visit Penny said, ‘Sue, can you teach me to meditate?’ I don’t recall ever having talked about mediation and so the request came out of the blue. None the less, I had practiced Christian meditation for many years and so was more than happy to share this precious gift with Penny and her friend who had also come to visit.
 
I went through the technique I used following the practice of John Main and we settled down to a short time of silence. Penny later described that during the time of silence she had a picture in her mind of a white cloud which came slowly towards her and wrapped itself around her. She felt at peace and she felt warmth and we knew that we were in God’s hands.
 
Penny’s husband John was determined to do all that he could to help her and with this love and resolve he and Penny started to mediate twice a day. It was Penny who went around the church telling everybody that they needed to ‘ask Sue to teach you how to meditate.’ So a group started with much enthusiasm, I suspect more for love of Penny than spiritual desire.
 
There were about a dozen in our little group right from the start and we committed to meet weekly. The time of 5.30 fitted most people’s needs and allowed them their evening free. I didn’t want to personally be seen as ‘owning’ the group and so I suggested that we didn’t just meet in my home every week. We took it in turns to host and in those early days we even shared a meal together after meditation. But we soon realised this was too much of a chore for the host and also a distraction from the purpose of the meeting, so it’s now settled into optional tea and biscuits. Some joust want to leave in silence after the time of meditation and that is fine too.
 
People were committed to the group right from the start coming every week unless something unavoidable got in the way. They were eager to know more and so we invited Sue Purkis, the WCCM Regional Co-ordinator, to come and talk with us and she helped us greatly to both understand more of the aim of this form of mediation and also with a few practical tips of how the group could help people more with their own practice.
 
Sue advised us to find one venue and stay with it rather than move around each week. It took us some time to come to terms with this, even though we knew it was sound advice, because the hosts so enjoyed hosting. Two things encouraged us to find a static venue though. Firstly the group was getting too big to be accommodated comfortably in most people’s homes. Secondly we had come to realise that the group was being thought of as exclusive, a closed shop. So we decided to move into the more open space of the church for a few months and see how it felt.
 
By this stage people were saying how much they looked forward to meeting each week, some were even surprised that the meditation meant so much to them. It was the group who were real advocates for meditation and so gradually the impression has changed within the community from ‘it’s something new age’ or ‘it’s not Christian’ to ‘tell me about it’ and ‘we should be telling others’. There are still many who say it’s not for them but nonetheless are very happy that the group is there.
 
But let’s get back to Penny because late in October 2014 she got the call to go to Newcastle.  A match had been found and she was going to have her transplant. From October until Christmas when they came home, the church became a power house of prayer for our very precious and much-loved Penny and John. They came home just in time for Christmas and there were many tears of relief and gratitude when we saw how well Penny looked.
 
During their time in Newcastle John had come across a meditation group which he joined. He had seen a sign outside a building ‘Meditation Here, come and join us.’ He had gone in and discovered it was Buddhist but that didn’t matter because he knew he was a Christian, it was just so good to meditate with other people. In fact his experience of the Buddhist group helped us all to reflect on our own practice. John reflected later that he would not have got through the time in Newcastle without meditation, it kept him going.
 
So we realised that we also need to put a sign outside the church inviting people to join us in meditation and not wanting to be half hearted about it a six foot banner was duly erected. It bought people along to dip in a toe, some have decided it’s not for them and others have found a home and stayed.
 
We have been careful to say that meditation is not just for Christians. Although we do start and end with a prayer and for Christians the aim is to make a space for God, hopefully we make it clear that people of other faiths and none may use the meditation to connect with whatever is in their hearts.
 
A final word, I personally believe that the weekly gathering to mediate has somehow changed the atmosphere of our community. People comment on the love and warmth, it’s a place where people want to be. It’s not that we were not loving and giving before because of course we were, but somehow it just subtly feels more intense. Perhaps we just know with more certainty that God is with us. 
 
If you would like to know more about Christian Meditation then I am very happy to talk with you or even help you get your own group started. If you want to read more about John Main’s teaching on meditation then please look at the World Community for Christian Meditation (WCCM) or contact Sue Purkis, Joint Regional Coordinator, WCCM Yorkshire Region, Tel No:  01535 632171 / 07702 692117
 
Contact:  Revd Sue Clarke 01484 681828 or 07896464417 / email [email protected]
 
 
 
 
here to edit.

​What is the point of Pentecost?
The great story we’ve heard this morning of the birth of the church, a mighty wind, tongues of flame and people speaking about Jesus in other languages.
But why did God do this? What is it all about?
We hear a lot about ‘spirituality’ today. Far more people feel comfortable saying they are spiritual than saying they’re religious – and I’ve more than a little sympathy for that.
But then it depends what we mean by spirituality. If all it means is our own personal experience then I have very little sympathy, because the truth is, it’s about much more than that.
And Pentecost is the best example of this, bar none.
God did not send His Holy Spirit on Jesus followers to give them a new spirituality or a nice feeling which will make the things of this earth irrelevant
No, God sent His Spirit to transform the things of earth with the power of heaven…. To transform us with the power of heaven.
The whole point is that through the Spirit, some of the creative power of God himself comes to earth, to Jesus followers so that Jesus work in the world can continue – embodied in us.
So, Jesus had spent 3 or so years building a community around him, teaching, mentoring and encouraging those first followers and now, after the Ascension with Jesus no longer bodily present on earth – the Spirit comes –
But, and this is crucial, it doesn’t come to them when they’re on their own. NO – the spirit comes when they are gathered together.
From the very beginning the Christian faith was a communal one. We simply cannot follow Jesus alone; its never been about a privatised spirituality. The New Testament is clear – the call to follow Jesus is the call to follow him in community, alongside others and so to be a blessing to world around them. PAUSE
The symbols of Pentecost here are wind and fire – wild untameable forces. The wind and flames would have been I’m sure both terrifying and exhilarating for the people gathered there that day.
Of course, other times in the book of Acts and in Christian experience, God’s Spirit works more softly and secretly – transforming people and situations with what seems like a minimum of fuss.
Some of you may have had powerful experiences of God’s Spirit – such an experience was the catalyst to me becoming a Christian 25 years ago.
Others may recognise the Holy Spirit more as that still small voice, speaking into your life
I firmly believe that God knows what makes each of us tick, our characters, how we learn and how we respond ….and so he comes to us in a way we can respond to.
But, if we think we can control what He does or how he does it, then we’re in for a big surprise.
God is very much the God of Surprises so let’s remain open to Him and what he wants to do in our lives and in our churches
Jesus tells us in Luke 11 that God loves to give His Spirit to those who ask him. But if we never ask – how can we hope to receive? PAUSE
So, Luke, writing the book of Acts as the follow up to his Gospel is clearly trying to describe something new, an event which launched a great movement. Like a forest fire which began with just a few flames.
And today then is a very appropriate day to mark the lighting of a tiny flame in our valley. A new community called together by God’s Spirit to make a difference to people’s lives.
I really do believe that this is something new God is doing, a small flame for sure and perhaps not something which will connect with everyone, but something which I’d encourage every Christian to take a good look at.
So, what is the community of soul friends?
Well, to begin with – it’s a community, it’s a group of people, its relational. It’s about journeying together in a shared way of life.
When I became a Christian, the churches I was involved with had a certain structure. We gathered twice every Sunday and then we met on a weekday evening every week in a small group in someone’s home. It was assumed you’d read Christian books and perhaps go along to some sort of festival or conference each summer.
Nothing wrong with any of those things, except – the world has changed a lot in 25 years. 
My life now, compared to life as an undergraduate student are well, different planets.
Expectations of employers, of family, of friends, of our busy western culture and perhaps our expectations of ourselves have changed immeasurably.
The model of being a part of church I was formed in, is a model which works in fewer and fewer places today.
Yes, Sunday Worship is still as important as it ever was– to gather together, to draw closer to God together and to encourage one another.
We are shaped by our experiences and by the culture we live in. Meeting together, seeking God together is a big way God wants to shape us -  if we don’t make space for him then we’re far more likely to be shaped by things other than God himself. Cos make no mistake we are shaped by the places and situations we live and move in.
So, we all need help to follow Jesus, don’t we?  to be an apprentice, a disciple. We all need help and support relating our faith in God to everyday life on our frontlines.
In this crazy busy world. We need others to help us find a rhythm of life, centred on God and healthily balanced so that we can flourish as human beings – cos ultimately, I think that’s what God wants – for us to flourish even among the pressures and pains of our lives.
Here’s what the founder of a similar community, Ray Simpson says:
Our desire to simply walk with God is hi-jacked by the competing demands of others, our own egos, data overload and endless pressures from work, family and culture. Unless we identify and prioritise the values by which we evaluate these demands we sink or burn out.’  Ray Simpson, Founder – Community of   Aiden and Hilda
 
And here’s what Jesus says in Matthew
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” ​   Jesus in Matthew 11: 28-30, The Message
PAUSE
 
What we need today is help to walk those unforced rhythms of grace, help to re-orientate our lives, to find rest and God at work in the everyday.
So, rather than the approach which says, ‘come to extra meetings’ and then we feel guilty when we just can’t, this is an approach which aims to set us free and to take some burdens off our shoulders as we develop a personal rhythm or way of life.
This takes us back to the very early church when, before the name Christian was ever used, followers of Jesus were simply called followers of ‘the way’ – people recognised that they lived in a different way to others, a way which was modelled on Jesus himself.
So, the community of soul friends works like this.
We have a number of Mentors (which we call soul friends) across the valley, with experience, who will work with people who want help to re-orientate their lives.
And the tool to do that is to develop a personal rhythm or way of life based on the 5 Waymarks:
So, it’s about taking these 5 marks and applying them to your situation right now, where you are, with the job you’ve got, the family situation you’re in, the health you’re in and so on.
Here’s a brief overview of the 5 waymarks: Essentially these are all about making space in our lives for God and for learning to live His way, freed from those things which all too easily control us.
1. Prayer

A rhythm of prayer is the bedrock of our life with God. It does not have to be onerous and should not be guilt-inducing, but it does need a shape. The community offers a very simple rhythm of prayer: morning, noon and night which is intended as a starting point and as an aid to creating space for God in the midst of busy lives.
What’s important is to learn what works for us as individuals. So, if we already have a pattern that works – great, if not – we’ve a whole range of things which can help
 

The 2nd waymark is Rhythm of work, Rest and re-creation
 
Along with a rhythm of prayer comes a rhythm for the whole of life which includes work & service of God and others as well as times of rest and time for re-creation in our lives.
This is like an antidote to the often-hectic nature of 21st century life.
So, we ask things like:
How can you create space for rest each day, weekly, monthly and annually?
What do you find life-giving and energising?
What takes away your energy?
How can you find space for looking after yourself – body, mind and spirit?
 
The third is Simplicity (of lifestyle)
Life can so easily become complicated and cluttered. What in our lives is    helpful or unhelpful as we seek to live simpler lives in tune with God.
What clutters our spirit?
​What can we cut out which hinders and de-energises us?
 
What clutters our homes and work spaces?                                      
Which relationships bring us life?
Which relationships drain us?    And so on 
 
 
Then there’s  4. Learning and Growth

A Christian is a follower of Jesus, a learner, disciple or apprentice. This is a lifelong relationship and journey in which we never stop learning.
​How can we learn from:
The Bible, others, creation, from other people and so on?
How can we create space in our rhythm of life to open ourselves to continued learning and reflection?
 
The final waymark is Mission
 
The pattern Jesus established was one of disciples making more disciples, who then go out, bringing hope to the world in all sorts of ways.
How does God want us to make a difference to others on our frontlines and more widely?
How can we join in with God’s work in the world? In you daily life? In our church, in our community? And so on
 
These 5 waymarks form a sort of flexible structure which with help we can apply to our own lives as they really are. And our way of life will change as our circumstances change too.
 
So, The Community of Soul Friends is not made up of experts; we're fellow travellers, all following Jesus the best we can, all constantly learning and juggling the demands of life. Rather than piling additional burdens on people, our hope is that this community will be a means by which God takes away some of those burdens and sets us free to truly live.
 
 
So, I encourage you to look into it, to read the literature, to look at the website and maybe then ask for a soul friend, for a mentor, to walk alongside you on this journey.
 
Finally, let’s take to heart these words of Jesus -cos he speaks them to each and every one of and wants them to take root in our hearts.
 
“Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” ​   Jesus in Matthew 11: 28-30, The Message
How about taking Jesus at his word and learning to live those unforced rhythms of grace?